a sewing tutorial for the crafty. and i know you're crafty.

above and below are how to make short pants from a t-shirt.

"pants tutorial
i might have made this look more complicated than necessary, because i'm the kind of person who likes every little thing spelled out. only four of these steps (6, 8, 12, 13) actually involve sewing. yellow is right side of shirt, turquoise is wrong side. let me know if you have questions or i wrote something unclear or wrong here.by the way, the cool clever part of these pants -- using the sleeve hole to make that weird-shaped part where the legs join -- is not my own idea. i got it from supatropic's shorts in the memories: http://www.livejournal.com/community/refashion/103246.html "

men: are you comfortable with your current level of modesty?

you ask, ("As a man, I would like to increase my modesty but don't know how to do it. Can you advise me?") I answer.
here are some guidelines from the internet for increasing your modesty if you're a guy. oh, and morals play a role in today's dino comic at www.qwantz.com

Young men should maintain modesty in their dress. All should avoid tight fitting or revealing clothes and extremes in clothing and appearance.

The dress and grooming of both men should always be modest, neat, and clean

Men :
A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar leaving the ear uncovered. Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.

Men should groom their hair relatively short. And although hair styles may reasonably vary from one culture ( note: "culture" here is defined as devout roman catholic) to another, men should not have long hair. Also, the trend in modern culture, whereby a man removes most of his body hair (such as on the arms, chest, legs), is offensive to God. Men should not remove this hair to conform to culture, nor to show off their muscles. A man may maintain a beard or moustache or other facial hair; a man may also shave his facial hair.

men should not seek excessive muscular size, nor an excessively muscular appearance. Fitness is one thing, and vanity is another. Men should not have excessive body fat

Men should not overly adore themselves with gold or jewelry. Men should not wear any earrings. Men should not wear excessive jewelry, such as gold chains or other jewelry. A man should wear a wedding ring, if he is married. A man may wear a watch or other functional jewelry.

Men must be modest in behavior. Men should not tell sexual jokes, or make sexual comments, or engange in sexually-explicit conversations, or speak and act in a way that is contrary to modesty and righteousness. Modesty applies to behavior, even more than it applies to clothing. Men should not watch pornography or treat pornography as if it were anything other than immoral and offensive.

so inconclusion, throw out your formfitting wardrobe and get a haircut, hippy!
(...and get a real job, clean your act up and don't be a slob...)

and ladies remember:
From what we have found in Scripture, long dresses, long skirts, long robes, long and loose culottes or even pants [IMHO - I have to totally disagree here about the pants ;-)]if they can be described as long, loose and flowing (and not sheer) would be modest and feminine. Can short or tight skirts be described as long and flowing? Can shorts be described as long and flowing? What about blue jeans? You might be able to describe them as loose but are you convinced (!) they are long and flowing?

ARE THEY??

culottes: increase your modesty!

"culottes are not just long shorts! The RIGHT kind of culottes do appear as a skirt"

in the 60's:
"They were called hostess pajamas"

GOD approves of coulottes.
"In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...1Tim 2:9 ... Modest Apparel USA has many colors and fabrics available in our culottes"

"Culottes are a split or divided skirt. The term skort is more widely used, possibly because it is easier to pronounce. While some garments sold as culottes resemble short trousers, to truly be a skort it needs to look like a skirt"

The following is a description of baptismal coulotte robes:
"In stock for fast delivery of your order, the Culottes ensure modesty. The legs are fully cut and specially designed to give the appearance of a robe. Lead weights are added to the hems to keep them down in the water."

not everyone likes coulottes
"culottes are the work of the Devil.
someday I think we'll find out that the same secret Trilateral Commission/Knights Templar/Elks Club-type group is responsible for culottes, carob, that guy you always think is Bill Paxton but isn't, corn syrup, David Blaine, and the vice-presidency, and that only by refusing to wear culottes will we manage to thwart their evil plan. And you know it's evil if it involves culottes."

For every occasion:
"The weight and finish of fabric transforms culottes from everyday to special"

i set forth... A CHALLENGE!

so, first off, i don't know who owns the above belly. it's from the internet.

second, today is the start of the belly olympics!!! today's event: the long jump.

measure your belly around your belly button when you've sucked your guts in as far as they will go. Then measure your belly when you've puffed it out as far as it will go. the difference is your belly long jump.

my belly long jumps 6.5 inches. if your belly jumps a longer distance, tell me and you can win a prize!

(good ones too. i made them myself. prizes for gold silver and bronze. maybe participation prizes. depends on the # of contestants. contest open to people i don't know, prizes will be sent by mail)

good luck!

IMPORTANT!!

MAY 25 is carry your towel day. if you don't get it, read the previous post. either way, tomorrow you must carry a towel all day. All the cool kids are doing it! (at least i am)
need more info? go here: www.towelday.kojv.net/

do you have your towel on you?

yay! Douglas Adams wrote the hitchikers guide to the galaxy and other cool stuff.

here's the website for doug's mountain-climb-in-a-rino-suit.
http://www.rhinoclimb2006.com/

here are a few quotes for you.
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes

He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it.

Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.

Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind- bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't

the following is from the website that immediately follows it. it's from a company that Doug's helped found, and the last part could have put in for fun. (note: on the website has an interesting rant about Doug's nose. and don't expect him to answer emails from the email address that's on the page: Doug's been dead since 2001)
"Douglas has also written the Dirk Gently novels, a non-fiction book (Last Chance to See) on endangered species, worked as a chicken shed cleaner, a bodyguard for an Arab royal family, and played guitar for Pink Floyd. "

www.tdv.com/html/douglas_a.html

when dad and i were on a hike we despirately missed our towels. i tried to paraphrase this quote but i muddeled it up badley. here's the real thing:
"A towel, it says, is about the most massively useful thing an interstellar hitch hiker can have. Partly it has great practical value - you can wrap it around you for warmth as you bound across the cold moons of Jaglan Beta; you can lie on it on the brilliant marble-sanded beaches of Santraginus V, inhaling the heady sea vapours; you can sleep under it beneath the stars which shine so redly on the desert world of Kakrafoon; use it to sail a mini raft down the slow heavy river Moth; wet it for use in hand-to-hand-combat; wrap it round your head to ward off noxious fumes or to avoid the gaze of the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal (a mindboggingly stupid animal, it assumes that if you can't see it, it can't see you - daft as a bush, but very ravenous); you can wave your towel in emergencies as a distress signal, and of course dry yourself off with it if it still seems to be clean enough.
More importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a strag (strag: non-hitch hiker) discovers that a hitch hiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, face flannel, soap, tin of biscuits, flask, compass, map, ball of string, gnat spray, wet weather gear, space suit etc., etc. Furthermore, the strag will then happily lend the hitch hiker any of these or a dozen other items that the hitch hiker might accidentally have "lost". What the strag will think is that any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through, and still knows where his towel is is clearly a man to be reckoned with"

Advise for children
"For Children: You will need to know the difference between Friday and a fried egg. It's quite a simple difference, but an important one. Friday comes at the end of the week, whereas a fried egg comes out of a chicken. Like most things, of course, it isn't quite that simple. The fried egg isn't properly a fried egg until it's been put in a frying pan and fried. This is something you wouldn't do to a Friday, of course, though you might do it on a Friday. You can also fry eggs on a Thursday, if you like, or on a cooker. It's all rather complicated, but it makes a kind of sense if you think about it for a while. "

in conclusion (and i think we'll all agree) :
"If there's anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now."

jackfruit - spiney fruit redux!

I'm a big fan of jackfruit bubble tea. yummm, so tasty! after i did the durian post i've been thinking about jackfruit, the 2nd biggest fruit, next to pumpkin! if you get a chance to try it, do so. some interesting (?) facts about jackfruit:


"The jackfruit tree is handsome and stately"

"Jackfruit is the largest tree-borne fruit in the world, reaching up to 80 pounds in weight and up to 36 inches long and 20 inches in diameter"

"The fruit is unusual as it is borne on the main branches and the trunks, occasionally even from surface roots of the tree"

"Trees have been observed to survive and recover from hurricane force winds"

"Mature fruit have 35 to 40% edible flesh"

"The cut stem will immediately exude white, sticky latex; this latex will permanently stain clothing. "

"Jackfruit have a number of uses. Green, immature fruit may be used as a vegetable in cooking including soups, and baked dishes, and fried. The pulp of ripe fruit may be eaten fresh, dried, or preserved in syrup or used for salads. The seeds can be boiled and roasted (eaten as a nut) and have a chestnut flavor. Jackfruit is low in calories and fat and a good source of potassium and Vitamin A"

"The leaves and rind of the fruit are fed to livestock. The wood is used for making furniture and musical instruments."

"As a fruit it provides a somewhat spicy and sweet tasting flavor. Fresh jackfruit is most often shredded and served in salads or added to desserts such as ice cream. "

"A general distinction is made between soft jackfruits, which can be broken open with the hands, and the hard ones which requires a knife to open them. Strangely, it is the latter that is preferred, but there are many varieties that do not fall into either category. Some believe that the best variety of all is the "peniwaraka" (honey jak) from Sri Lanka. "

"Although the smell of the fresh fruit has a disagreeable musty odour, the flesh inside has an aroma of pineapples and bananas. Inside the fruit and under its nubbly green shell is a number of fruit compartments or segments arranged like a wheel. Each fruit contains a few, or up to 500, large starchy edible seeds"

"As the fruit ripens, it is often covered with a bag -- not to keep birds away but to encourage ants to swarm around it to repel other insects. "

"The young shoots and flowers are sometimes eaten as a vegetable. The pulp is firm, thick, and sweet and will continue to ripen even after it is peeled. If the bulbs are boiled in milk and then drained and cooled, the congealed mass that is left forms a pleasant orange-coloured custard. The flesh is sometimes candied by the Chinese and Malaysians. "

www.practicallyedible.com/ is a website about food. very cool, check out why vegetarians shouldn't drink wine and other facts, as well as definitions, recipes and info about evenything edible.

books to read: THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA

you can buy the whole set in one book for 14.99 at costco!

a story about the stained glass window above:
"Holy Trinity was asked to install a stained glass window in the church, with a free choice as to its subject. As the window was to be a memorial to the children it was clear that Narnia would be a very appropriate theme, since the Narnia books deal in a symbolic and allegorical way with the themes of life and death. The window is placed close to the pew where C.S. Lewis habitually sat and, since Lewis lived in this parish and attended the church of Holy Trinity for over thirty years, it is very appropriate that his contribution to classic children's literature should also be commemorated in this place"

www.beliefnet.com/narnia/ is a website talking about the religious side of narnia

also of interest: the lion in one of the pics has a mullet.

durian inspiration

as i was lying in bed last night thinking about durians, i said to myself "self" i said "i need a new format for my blog. i can't keep on in this haphazard way, i need structure. structure i say!"
a new format was born:
from now on, i'll have an even more informative blog, with days devoted to things i find odd/cool. durian was just the beginning! from now on, the website of the day will pertain to the topic at hand, and cool websites will have tributes of their own!
it mightn't sound much different, but believe-you-me, it's revolutionary.

a tribute to the king of fruit!

A durian poem from the internet:

"All hail great Durian, in whose spiny breast / A thousand wonderous flavours have their birth / All hail to thee! We wanderers from the West / Here crown thee King of all fruits of earth! " - H S Whiteside from "Gula Melaka" Christmas, 1914

durian. the king of fruit or menace to society...you decide! (using the following websites and internet quotes as a starting point for your decision).

i've had durian ice cream from china town and liked it - it was kind of cheesy and fruity but it had no smell, so i'm hesitant to try the real thing. the following links are worth a visit, they have durian poetry, music, cartoons, scientific facts, theories on the evolution of the odour... lots of things worth knowing. (by the way, the 1st pic is of the durian tree. so tall! good thing the fruit fall mostly at night!)

www.ecst.csuchico.edu/~durian/

http://durian.timtyler.org/

"Durian, the infamous tropical fruit, banned in hotels and public transportation because of its foul odor, but craved by many who have become accustomed to it. "Like eating custard in a sewer." I have tried the fresh fruit twice, first in Bali in 1988, then in Paris in 1992. I have also purchased durian ice cream from Polly Ann's in San Francisco. I brought it to a party once. Everyone thought there was a gas leak in the stove!"

"I have been told by a number of people that beer can be fatal, if drunk within a few hours of eating durian. This is apparently on account of some fermentation process, which causes your bowels to explode. However, based on my own experiments, this rumor appears to be totally untrue. WARNING : Not everyone has the same metabolism, so I take no responsibility if you try it and achieve a different result."

"The taste is unique. Custard, almonds, and perhaps a hint of garlic. Or perhaps banana, papaya, vanilla, and - rotting onions"

"Durian blooms nocturnally beginning in the late evening and peaking at midnight"

"I put the durian—which was sealed securely in a plastic bag—in the car while I did some other shopping. Returning less than an hour later, a strong, pungent odor filled the whole car. I rolled down all the windows and drove around for an hour—the car still smelled. I took the durian home, hermetically sealed it in three layers of plastic bags, and went out again. After another hour I returned, opened the door, and immediately confronted the same strong smell. It’s a vaguely fruity smell, in the way that apples rotting in a manure pile smell vaguely fruity. It’s hard to say quite what it smells like, but it isn’t likely to become an air freshener or cologne scent. And the scent is very tenacious—plastic won’t stop it, it sticks to everything, and it dissipates very, very slowly."

“The Durian is, however, sometimes dangerous. When the fruit begins to ripen it falls daily and almost hourly, and accidents not unfrequently happen to persons walking or working under the trees. When a Durian strikes a man in its fall, it produces a dreadful wound, the strong spines tearing open the flesh, while the blow itself is very heavy; but from this very circumstance death rarely ensues, the copious effusion of blood preventing the inflammation which might otherwise take place" Excerpt from The Malay Archipelago, by Alfred Russel Wallace. Dover Publishing Inc., Pp 56-58 (written during the 1850's-60's)!

"Aficionados of the fruit say they find the smell irresistible, but its detractors have struggled to find an apt simile. It has been likened to rotting onions, unwashed socks and even carrion in custard, but the most accurate description by far is that of a sewer full of rotting pineapples. This malodorous fruit is so offensive to many people that the durian is banned on buses, trains, taxis and aeroplanes, and all hotel-doormen will bar entry to anyone trying to smuggle one into their establishment."

"Eating a good durian is such a satisfying experience, blissful. As Mark Twain declared the cherimoya "deliciousness itself," I say the durian is "blissfulness itself!" I think it perhaps not coincidental that so many of the buddha statues in Southeast Asia have been created with the head covered with points that very much resemble a durian. (And I say that knowing full well that in some countries the creation of those statues pre-dated the durian’s arrival.) Eating a good durian can be a spiritual experience, giving quite literally an exquisite taste of bliss."

I say enjoy the king of fruits next time you get the chance
IF YOU DARE!

mow less with ORNAMENTAL GRASSES!

i love ornamental grasses. if you plant them in your garden they're handsome, low maintenance, and take up space so you don't have to mow as much.
when i was little i loved grasses. these are my top 5 games to play with grass:
1) grass whistles
2)what grass tastes best
3) can i find grass taller than me
4) poke people with long grass from a distance
5) what bugs are in grass

the website today is www.newscientist.com/lastword.ns answers to strange questions people have, and a place to ask your own. part of a science magazine website, made into a book "does anything eat wasps?", which i own and enjoy.

2 cool and grisley (?) things

Alice Cooper is my favorite rockstar. he's so cool.
you know what else is cool? bees. the website is an article about how bees kill wasps by using their body heat to cook them. so cool!
http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20050924/fob5.asp